King of the Mountain - by Tom
Once upon a time, in a magical land called Blister, there lived a little leprechaun named Mr. Krit.
Mr. Krit was an interesting fellow who really liked games. In fact, he would probably tell you that
games were his most favorite thing in the whole land of Blister. He spent a lot of time reading books
about all of the games people played in the historical times of Blister and wished that he could one
day be a part of something important and memorable, worthy of being written down in books. Although
he loved games so much, Mr. Krit had a hard time finding people to play with him. He lived in a small
section of Blister, all tucked away in a swampy marsh, called Moody Marsh. In the Northeastern corner
of Moody Marsh, Mr. Krit lived in a little downstairs bachelor pad of his mother's bungalow. He had
designed this pad all by himself. It was really something special. He had a play room, that was strictly
designated for games. In fact, he had a large neon sign mounted on the outside of the door that said,
"GAMES ONLY, TAKE OTHER BUSINESS ELSEWHERE." Mr. Krit spent a lot of his time in this room, playing all
kinds of leprechaun games like tidly winks, and gold goblin, and butter-ma-muffin. These games were
decent ways to pass the time, but he still felt like something was missing. It would be really fun if
he could play games with other leprechauns. Unfortunately, Mr. Krit had never met another leprechaun
before, aside from his mom of course. He didn't even know for sure if there were any other leprechauns
living in Blister. No one else lived in Moody Marsh, and he had never been beyond its boundaries. One
damp blustery day, Mr. Krit decided he was tired of playing with himself, and he was going to go on a
journey to find other people to play games with. He retrieved a plastic grocery bag from his top dresser
drawer, where he kept all his valuables, and started packing. When he was satisfied, he tied the ends of
the bag closed around the end of a rainbow baton, threw it over his shoulder, hobo style, and started
for the front door. On his way out, his mother noticed the hobo stick with attached grocery bag, and
stopped him. "Where are you going Hippa? she asked." "You know it's very cold outside and you don't want
to get too chilly," she reminded him. "I know mom," Hippa retorted. "I can take care of myself. I'm not
a child anymore," he exclaimed and quickly exited the house, slamming the door shut.
Hippa took in a big whiff of Moody Marsh air. It smelled a lot like freedom, and a little like diapers.
He took a big step off the front porch and hesitated. This was the furthest he had ever been from home
in his entire life. He felt a nagging urge at the back of his mind to turn back before something bad
could happen, but he fought the fear with every ounce of leprechaun courage he could muster. "You can do
this!" Hippa whispered to himself in encouragement. With one last deep breath, he took off skipping down
the Moody Marsh road, for leprechauns always skipped when they ran. It was the best way to get around.
There was only one road out of the Moody Marsh, and it led directly into the Wisdom Woods. These woods
were a very mysterious place full of all kinds of secrets. As a young leprechaun, Hippa had been told by
his grandpappy that the woods could teach you a lot of things about life. You might learn that most of
the things you believed about the world are wrong, or at least misleading, cased on the limited information
you could gather, living in Moody Marsh. It is always a scary proposition to enter Wisdom Woods, because
one never know if he will be able to handle the mysteries that will be revealed. Hippa skipped past the
border sign reading "NOW LEAVING MOODY MARSH, COME BACK SOON, OR WHATEVER I DON'T CARE EITHER WAY." Hippa
giggled at the sign and said weeeeeeeeeee as he flew on by, not looking back. Wisdom Woods swallowed him
up as he embarked on a journey of endless wonders.
The first few days of his journey through the woods, Hippa was unimpressed with what he saw. It was just tree
after tree, bush after bush, root after root. "What's the big deal about all this?" he mumbled aloud. "The
marsh has just as much nice scenery as this dark place, and at least we have swamp toads to play with," he said
to no one in particular. Just then, he heard a strange noise from just down the path. He slowed his skipping
to a gentle trot and perkes his pointy leprechaun ears in the direction of the noise. "What is it!?" he wondered
aloud. It was the strangest noise he had ever heard. Voices! And laughter! It sounded like other people were
nearby. He pinpointed the direction of the noises and started into the foliage. He pushed and prodded his way
through think vines and juicy ferns until he finally reached an open field. There was a beautiful clearing full
of flowers and high grass and sunlight. Hippa had read about flowers and sunlight in his books, but had never
experienced them until now. He was in awe of the colors and the brightness of he field. It took his leprechaun
eyes a few minutes to adjust to all the new sensations, but eventually he noticed that a group of young people
were all congregated at the far end of the field. They were all standing with their backs to him, peering up at
a tall and steep rockface. It was a mountain! Hippa had heard about mountains from his grandpappy, but he knew
they were very dangerous. People try to climb them, but usually end up getting hurt, so he had always been told
to stay away. Still, he couldn't pass up the opportunity to meet other leprechauns, so he started out across the
field.
The others didn't notice Hippa until he was right behind them. He cleared his leprechaun throat and said, "Hi."
No one turned around. "HELLO!" he said louder this time. Everyone stopped talking and turned around to see him.
Hippa noticed right away, these were not leprechauns, these were manfolk! Manfolk are a lot bigger and stronger
than leprechauns, but they weren't as clever. "Well hi there!" one of the male manfolk said to Hippa. "Where did
you come from little buddy?" he asked. "I came from Moody Marsh," Hippa replied. "Have any of you ever been there?"
he inquired. "No way man," said the same male manfolk. "That place is kinda creepy, we prefer the field, no offense."
"It's ok, said Hippa, I think I like the field better too! What are you guys doing?" he inquired. "Oh we are playing
a game," said the man. "My name is Voyce, pleased to meet ya Hippa! I live out by the docks, around the bend from
the O'Reeson Bakery. My dad owns the place." "Cool!" said Hippa. "I love games! They are my absolute favorite thing
in the whole world. Can I play?" "Sure," said Voyce. "But this is a pretty tough game. You have to be able to climb
to the top of this rock face here and get to that flag on the top," he elaborated. "The first person to get to the
flag wins and gets to be called The King of the Mountain." Continuing with the explanation he added, "you are pretty
small and haven't played before, so I could help you out if you like. We could have like, an alliance," he offered.
"What does that mean? asked Hippa. "Well, basically, I will carry you up the mountain face for awhile, until you are
used to the terrain. Then when you feel more comfortable, you can climb the rest yourself," Voyce explained. "I'll do
my best to help you as much as I can, but I may eventually get tired," he admitted. "That sounds fair," replied Hippa.
"Let's go!" they all shouted at once.
The group of young manfolk and leprechaun started up the rock face, all racing to be the King of the Mountain. Voyce
strapped Hippa to his back, with a sophisticated pulley and rope device that allowed Hippa to be somewhat comfortable
and to enjoy the view as they climbed. Hippa was thrilled. He sat back and watched as they got higher and higher.
He could see further and further out over the trees and fields and started to realize just how big the Wisdom Woods really
were. There was so much to see and so much to explore. He looked around him at the manfolk and noticed they were starting to
get tired. Voyce was way faster than the rest of them, and had built a pretty good lead over the competitition. Hippa looked
up and saw they were about two-thirds of the way up the mountain. The rest of the people were not even at the half way point
yet. He was excited about how well he was doing and thougt he was really going to be the King of the Mountain! He could see
the green and yellow flag waving in the breeze at the highest point. He couldn't wait to get there and touch it and say that
he had accomplished this great climb! The climb continued a little further, but suddenly, Voice tripped and fell. He was the
most tired out of everyone since he had been carrying not only his own weight, but Hippa's as well. He had such a big lead at
this point, he didn't worry about stopping to rest on a ledge, just below the final crest of the mountain. Voyce untied the
rope and pulley rig and let Hippa down on the ledge. "Ok, little dude, you are going to have to climb the rest of the way
yourself now. I'm exhausted!" he decreed. Hippa was furious! "What are you talking about?! You said we were going to have an
alliance and you were going to help me!" he yelled. "I did help you," Voyce said calmly. I did as much as I can but you have
to do something yourself, otherwise you technically haven't even participated in the game. You just let me do all the work."
"WHAT!" Hippa screamed in a fit of rage. "You are an arrogant coldblooded maggot and I hate you. You think you are better than
me because I am a leprechaun and I am smaller and can't climb! You sit there and talk down on me like I am beneath you and you
are better than me. You are nothing! You are a piece of garbage and I hope you fall off this mountain and die you miserable
wanker. OMG everything you say is disgusting and I can't stand you. I can't believe these other manfolk put up with you. You
are the most vile thing I have ever witnessed in my life and I never want to talk to you or see you ever again. If you make
it to the top of this mountain without me, this game is tainted and I will not recognize you as the King of the Mountain. I
want no part in any of these. Carry me back down this mountain right now and let me go back to the Moody Marsh! You are
pathetic I can't believe I thought this would be fun. This is tainted, this mountain is tainted, you are all maggots. I am
the only normal one here!" Hippa was hopping up and down during this whole rant. His face was flushed and drool had trickled
down his chin. The rant had gone on so long the others had made it up to the ledge. They all just ignored him and continued
up the mountain towards the flag. Voyce packed up his things, looked back at Hippa, shook his head in a sorrowful way, and
continued on to the top. Even with the distractions, he was able to win the game and become the King of the Mountain.
The rest of the manfolk were happy with the result. They knew Voyce was a good climber and they figured they would win another
time when he was having an off day, but during their celebration at the top of the mountain, while they drank delicious juice
and ate muffins, they could still hear the faint and distant screaming of Hippa from the ledge. "You are all brainwashed
fools. I am normal. You are all evil disgusting cretens. I hate all of you except Roger, I like you Roger come back down and
play with me." he echoed up the mountain. They all decided it would be best to just go back down the opposite side of the
mountain. Perhaps after a few hours, Hippa would calm down. The manfolk all had supper in their houses and forgot about Hippa.
Roger, being the nicest of the bunch, went back after awhile and carried Hippa back down the mountain. Hippa wanted Roger to
come back to Moody Marsh with him, thinking that since he helped him down, he might want to play in his GAMES ONLY room with
him. Roger politely declined and said he had other things to do, but maybe he will see him later. Hippa was insulted and
screamed at Roger. "You disgusting pile of nothing I hate you! You think you are better than me. I am just playing a character
here! I didn't mean anything I said to those manfolk before! I was just playing the part of the leprechaun and no one understands
me! Sure I admit I bugged Voyce a little bit, but he took it too far. He degraded me in front of everyone and for that he is a
lowlife and a maggot. He made me feel like I was psycholocially disturbed and made me feel bad about myself! What he did was way
worse that what I did! Roger please don't side with them you maggot!" Roger tried to explain to Hippa that his actions today
were very wrong and the others had only responded in a reasonable way to such attacks. Hippa didn't understand and thought that
Roger was judging him. So Roger politely went his own way and Hippa went back down the road to Moody Marsh, down the stairs to
his bachelor pad, through his door to his GAMES ONLY room, and played tiddly winks by himself, while he plotted a way to get back
at those no good manfolk. Meanwhile, the manfolk went on with their lives and hoped they would never run into an angry leprechaun
ever again.
THE END
